By Dr Manoj Krishna

Meditation is often misunderstood.

Many people think it means stopping thoughts, emptying the mind, or achieving a special state of calm. When that doesn’t happen, they assume they’re “not good at meditation” and give up.

In reality, meditation is much simpler, and much more human than that.

In this article, I want to share a three-step framework that can help you understand meditation more clearly and deepen your practice over time. Each step brings different benefits, and each one builds naturally on the previous one.

These steps are not rigid stages or levels to pass. They are simply a way of focusing on different aspects of the same journey. In truth, meditation is one unified process.

Step 1: Calming the Mind

The first step in meditation is learning to calm the mind.

This does not mean stopping thoughts. The mind thinks — that’s what it does. Meditation begins by gently training our attention.

A simple and effective way to do this is by using the breath, although other techniques, such as mindfulness or silently repeating a phrase can also work.

A simple practice to begin

Find a quiet place and sit comfortably, either on a chair or on the floor. Close your eyes.

Take a slow breath in through your nose, counting to four. Then breathe out gently through your nose, counting to six.

As you breathe in, notice the air feels slightly cooler. As you breathe out, notice it feels slightly warmer.

There’s no need to force anything. The key is slow, smooth breathing.

“My mind keeps wandering — am I doing it wrong?”

This is one of the most common concerns people have.

During meditation, you will notice your mind wandering. That’s completely normal. When you notice it, don’t judge yourself or try to control the mind. Simply and gently bring your attention back to the breath.

You may do this many times in one session. That’s not a problem — that is the practice.

Start with 10 minutes a day. Over time, you can gradually build up to 20 or 30 minutes. Consistency matters more than duration. And if you miss a day, that’s okay — just begin again.

There is no goal and nothing to achieve. Meditation is not about doing it “right.”

Some benefits, such as feeling calmer, may appear within a couple of weeks. Others take longer. Research has shown benefits including better sleep, improved focus and memory, lower blood pressure, better emotional regulation, and improved mental health.

With this first step, many people notice their mind becomes calmer. However, emotional reactions and habits often continue as before. The same triggers still create the same responses.

This is where the second step becomes important.

You can meditate anywhere

Once you build a meditation practice anchored to your breath, you can meditate anywhere,

at any time, with your eyes open or closed.

It could be on your commute to work, or for a quick reset between meetings, or while going for a walk

The key is to pay complete attention, and notice without judgement the thoughts and feelings as they arise.

Each topic you explore in the app helps you understand what is going on in your own mind. It is only true if you see it clearly for yourself. It’s in actually doing the work of noticing, questioning and understanding for yourself that change occurs. Imagine being free of stress, or anxiety or having relationships without conflict?

Step 2: Understanding the Mind

In step two, meditation becomes a tool for understanding the mind, not just calming it.

Here, we begin to observe our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours with curiosity rather than judgment.

An everyday example — Anger

Imagine feeling angry because a friend didn’t call you on your birthday.

The first step is simply noticing: I feel angry.

The next step is taking ownership — recognising that this feeling is arising within you. This doesn’t mean others haven’t triggered it. It means that blame doesn’t help us learn.

Instead of judging ourselves or others, we become curious.

We might ask:

What’s really going on in my mind right now?

With curiosity, we may notice that underneath the anger is an expectation that wasn’t met. We begin to see that it’s the expectation, not the event itself, that is creating the hurt.

This opens the door to deeper understanding:

Where do my expectations come from?

Are they realistic?

Can I let go of some of them? Can I communicate the rest with kindness, not with anger?

Expectations are not right or wrong — they are part of being human. Most of our expecations, of ourselves and others lie hidden from our own awareness. By being curious we can uncover them, examine them, and live more consciously.

One more example — picking up the phone

Notice the next time you reach for your phone, without an obvious reason. It’s often an unconscious movement.

Ask yourself — What’s going on in my mind to make me do this?

You may notice in yourself a certain restlessness or uneasiness, and when you use the phone it goes away.

Be curious. What is this feeling of restlessness, where does it come from, and how does it show up in other areas of your life?

You may notice it’s also behind your urge to go shopping, or on holiday and more. It is part of being human, and drives so many of our actions without our own awareness.

If you go further, and stay with this feeling, not giving in to it, or escaping from it, it transforms to a feeling of peace. Test this, and find out if its true.

By being curious, you have learned something new about yourself. To find out more, explore the module on Inner Boredom in the app here.

What changes when we understand the mind

A traffic jam may still be inconvenient, but it doesn’t have to create stress or anger.

As we understand ourselves more deeply, it also becomes easier to understand others. We begin to see that, at a fundamental level, we all struggle with similar patterns. That helps our relationships improve and we can have more compassion for others.

If we stop here, we may notice that we still feel hurt from time to time, and don’t feel at peace with ourselves, especially when we are alone.

To find that peace we need to go deeper, and understand the ‘I’ that feels hurt.

Step 3: Understanding the “Me”

In the third step, meditation deepens even further.

We begin to explore the “I” — the part of us that feels stressed, hurt, lonely, anxious, threatened, or restless.

This can be difficult to describe, because it’s not something we can easily point to. But simply asking the question can be transformative:

What is the part of me that feels hurt right now?

Looking deeper

Returning to the earlier example:

• Step one calms the mind
• Step two helps us see the role of expectations
• Step three explores who it is that feels hurt or angry

As we explore this, we begin to notice something universal.

Deep down, the sense of “me” often feels restless and dissatisfied. The mind looks outside, for people, possessions, status, or beliefs, to feel better inside.

Whatever it finds, makes us feel better for a short time, and then we feel restless again. That why we need more and more, and are never satisfied.

We get attached to anyone or anything that meets that inner need. Then comes anxiety about losing what we’re attached to. And suffering when we do.

Often, all this happens without our awareness.

What begins to shift

We can ask ourselves: Who am ‘I’? What is this ‘I that is feeling hurt?

When we ask this question with curiosity, without judgment, and without looking for an answer, something begins to soften.

We may gradually begin to realise that the ‘I’ is a creation of our own thinking, because its not there in deep sleep, when our thoughts are quiet.

As a result of this insight, we may feel less attached, less reactive, and more at ease. Relationships often feel closer and more authentic.

There will be moments when the mind becomes completely quiet. Moments of deep peace, connection, and freedom from suffering.

A Few Things to Keep in Mind

If this sounds challenging, remember a few simple points:

• Be curious, not goal-driven. There is nothing to achieve
• Don’t judge what you notice as good or bad
• Ask gentle, open questions — what can I learn?
• Be patient, and consistent
• Take the most important step, and begin today
• Remember, this inner journey can be life changing

These three steps are just a framework, a way of understanding different aspects of meditation. In reality, it is one unified journey

And as your practice deepens, you may discover something important:

The peace you are looking for ‘out there’ is already within you, waiting to be discovered.

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Understand your mind. Live a happier life.

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